Chapter Three: The Demon Tiger Whip

At last, this wasn’t just a single-player version anymore. It seemed there was even a possibility of communication. After nodding, Zhou Yu looked at the little girl dressed in a maid outfit on the light screen and said gravely, “Please, tell me that all of this is just an illusion.”

“Honored King, I’m sorry, but I cannot lie to you.”

“How do I get back?”

“Honored King, the answer to that question is something you must discover for yourself.”

“Then what do you know? Or rather, what help can you offer me?”

“I am all-knowing. In your current logic, you could call me Baidu. Based on my gender, you may call me Baidu Girl, according to—”

With a “pop,” Zhou Yu pressed the red button, and the light screen vanished.

All-knowing? I asked you two questions and you knew neither. Baidu Girl? She’s the dream girl who’s tormented millions of shut-ins! You’re just a stunted, yellow-haired brat… Completely unreliable.

He slung the giant sword over his shoulder and strode deeper into the woods. Suddenly, he reopened his watch, summoned Baidu Girl again, and asked, “Then at least you should know if there are any wild boars nearby?”

A ring of green light emanated from the watch, spreading outward. After a moment, Baidu Girl replied, “Honored King, a kilometer ahead to your left, there’s a—”

Before she could finish, Zhou Yu cut her off and walked toward the right-front instead.

Moments later, in the depths of the forest, Zhou Yu stared ahead in shock. Wild boar? No, it was a massive tiger! This beast stood two meters tall, its four muscled legs as thick as barrels, its long tail like an iron rod. This was no ordinary tiger!

“Damn old man! You bastard! You’re going to get me killed!” Zhou Yu shouted, hurling his greatsword at the tiger before turning to run.

“What a pity,” the old man mused, sipping his wine and basking in the sun outside the thatched hut. “Ten years of cultivation, gone. Still, at least I’ve found someone to do my laundry and cook. Worth it.” Suddenly, a tiger’s roar echoed from the forest. His eyes hardened. So, the demon tiger has finally appeared?

The demon tiger dodged Zhou Yu’s thrown sword with a thunderous roar, its claws gouging deep trenches in the earth as it chased after him.

Although Zhou Yu had just inherited ten years of the old man’s cultivation, he was still no match for a hungry demon tiger in terms of speed.

In just a few breaths, the demon tiger was right behind him. Zhou Yu leapt onto a massive tree, its trunk so thick that five men together might barely encircle it. Clinging with both arms and legs, he scrambled up the trunk, not even sure how he’d done it—it was pure instinct. His back was already drenched in sweat.

Below, the demon tiger paced around the giant tree, then began battering it, trying to shake him loose.

Clinging to the swaying trunk, Zhou Yu cursed, “Damn Baidu Girl! I asked for a wild boar, and you throw me to the tigers!”

Just then, the light screen on his watch appeared again, and the maid-dressed Baidu Girl said, “Honored King, you shut me off before I finished speaking.”

“Cut the nonsense! What do I do now?”

“Honored King, why not slay this demon tiger?”

“Can’t you see how big it is? You think it’s some kind of Garfield?” Zhou Yu snapped.

“Honored King, in terms of power levels, you are currently at F-rank, while this demon tiger is E-rank. You should be able to fight it. Moreover, by convention, protagonists don’t die...”

“I don’t know what this E-rank and F-rank business is about,” Zhou Yu replied, “but I do know that I’m safe up here for now. Down there, I’m tiger food.”

The light screen on the watch suddenly vanished. From the distance came thunderous crashes. Zhou Yu turned toward the sound and saw giant trees falling and even being hurled aside as a figure approached at high speed.

The demon tiger sensed something was wrong, let out a low growl, then glanced up at Zhou Yu in the tree with clear reluctance before turning to flee.

That look made Zhou Yu shudder; he couldn’t help but think, was this how the monsters once looked at Tang Monk?

But then, he realized—the old man was coming! That tiger wanted to escape? After nearly eating me? Not so easy.

Zhou Yu leapt from the tree and landed astride the fleeing demon tiger, gripping its fur tightly.

The tiger whipped its head around, jaws wide, its breath foul and hot. Zhou Yu ducked just in time, then swung his right fist with all his strength at the beast.

According to Baidu Girl, their strengths were about equal. This punch ought to do something.

Sure enough, the tiger roared in pain, bucked, and flung Zhou Yu off.

With a thud, Zhou Yu slammed into another huge tree and crashed to the ground, his bones aching as if shattered, blood filling his mouth with a coppery taste.

Realizing escape was impossible, the demon tiger went berserk, roaring and lunging at Zhou Yu.

Trying to use me as a meat shield? Zhou Yu rolled aside with every ounce of strength he had left.

A flash of sword energy split the air. The tiger charging at him was sliced clean in two, crashing down beside Zhou Yu.

“Ha! Not bad, kid!” The old man appeared in a blur, standing before Zhou Yu.

Zhou Yu had seen the old man’s sword aura cleave the demon tiger in half—truly the stuff of legends. Where there are such masters, danger must lurk. But there was no other option; for now, survival meant staying close to this old man.

“Thank you, Master, for saving my life.” Zhou Yu managed to rise and spat out a mouthful of blood.

“Ha! You’re my disciple. No need for thanks. Besides, now we won’t have to look for food for a week!” The old man ignored Zhou Yu’s injuries and began poking at the bisected demon tiger.

“So big! I’m crippled, and you’re injured. Let’s just stay here a few days, eat this big cat, then head back.” The old man scanned the surroundings for shelter, but found nothing suitable.

“Master, with your skills, why not carve a hollow in a tree?” Zhou Yu suggested, clutching his aching chest.

“Ha! Of course I know. I was just testing your cleverness.” With a flash of sword energy, the old man carved out a hole in a giant tree.

Unnoticed, night descended.

In front of the tree hollow, a campfire blazed. Huge slabs of tiger meat were skewered on a long stick over the flames.

A golden crust formed on the meat as fat dripped onto the fire, hissing and flaring up into little bursts of flame. The aroma of roasting meat drifted into Zhou Yu’s nostrils, making him swallow hungrily. He hadn’t eaten since before his transmigration—an entire night and day had passed. After his ordeal with the demon tiger, he had no strength left.

The old man expertly roasted large chunks of tiger meat, turning them now and then.

Never would Zhou Yu have imagined that his first meal after transmigrating would be tiger meat. If he wasn’t injured, life wouldn’t seem so bad: a cheap master, ten years’ worth of cultivation in an afternoon, tiger meat for dinner. If only he could summon Baidu Girl to perform a striptease, it’d be perfect.

“Hey, kid! You’re injured—eat this, it’ll do you good!” The old man tossed him a long, thick strip of meat skewered on a stick.

It was hot! Zhou Yu juggled it between his hands, then had a flash of inspiration—he used a slender branch to pin the meat to a tree, then began eating from the bottom up.

The strip was as thick as his wrist and half a meter long. Starving, Zhou Yu gripped the end in both hands and tore into it.

The tiger meat wasn’t as tough as he’d imagined—after two or three chews, it broke apart, releasing waves of savory, juicy flavor as he swallowed.

Before long, he’d devoured half the strip and belched contentedly, rubbing his swollen belly before glancing at the old man.

The old man was sitting by the fire, alternating between mouthfuls of tiger meat and swigs of wine, looking completely at ease. He had to tear the meat off with some effort, then stuffed whole strips into his mouth to chew.

Apparently, the old man’s teeth were failing him. Zhou Yu made his way over and sat by the fire.

“Full?” the old man mumbled through a mouthful of meat.

“Yes.”

“How’s the taste?”

“I’ve never eaten anything so delicious,” Zhou Yu replied honestly. After a day and night of hunger, anything would taste heavenly.

“Ha! I’ve had it before—delicious, and potent!” The old man grinned.

Zhou Yu eyed the old man’s lecherous expression and asked, “Potent?”

“That’s right! Demon tiger whip is pure yang—it’ll make any man more virile!”

“Whip!?” Zhou Yu jumped up. “Master, you’re too generous—giving me something so precious!” For men, virility and alcohol tolerance are always matters of pride.

“Too bad we’re trapped in the Misty Mountains and can’t find you a girl. Tonight, you’ll just have to restrain yourself,” the old man said slyly.

A bad premonition crept over Zhou Yu. “That potent? That fast?”

“Back in the day, I only ate a small piece—could spend the night with ten women without flagging! Though of course, I was gifted to begin with...”

Zhou Yu eyed the old man’s withered frame and short nose. Gifted? According to face-reading, a man’s nose length correlates to his virility! Damn! He only had a small piece, while I’ve eaten over half a strip…

Night deepened. The stars overhead shone like countless jewels set in a deep blue sky. Fireflies flickered in the woods like wandering spirits.

A shooting star streaked across the heavens. Zhou Yu made a desperate wish: “Please, let it out…” His voice broke with emotion. Three and a half hours later, as dawn crept into the east, Zhou Yu looked at his numb, aching right hand and muttered, “This is murder—my billions of future descendants…” Then he collapsed in exhaustion.

That same shooting star crashed into the distant snowy grasslands, setting it ablaze.

From the smoking crater, a naked man climbed out, carrying a large iron box on his back. He stretched, gazed at his scarred, powerful body, and said, “Scars are a man’s badge of honor!” Then he slung the iron box over his shoulder and strode off into the distance.

As dawn broke in the east, the man with the iron box reached the edge of the grasslands. Looking toward the rising sun, he declared, “Hades, here I come!”