Wait for me.

The dead of winter—the coldest season of the year—brought a bone-chilling wind from the water’s edge. Liu Fazu only remembered that at dusk, he and two of his watchful henchmen had entered a small newspaper shop. After the shop’s door was closed, he picked up a paper and had just begun reading the headline when he completely lost consciousness. When he awoke, he found himself lying in the cabin of a boat. At the bow, a somewhat familiar figure was giving orders to a few people.

Liu Fazu sat up and tapped his aching head, then tentatively called out, “Boss Bi? Is that you?” Without turning his head, Bi Qingtang replied, “Just finished off those two Japanese dogs. Taking a breather now. Soon we’ll get you on your way.” Saying this, he tossed a cloth he had been using to wipe his hands into the blood-tinged river water. “We’re sending you to Chongqing.” At these words, Liu Fazu ignored the pounding pain in his head and hurried out of the cabin. Excited, he asked, “Really? Boss Bi, going from Shanghai to Chongqing now is harder than climbing to the heavens!” Bi Qingtang smiled faintly. “Anything that can be done with guns and gold bars isn’t truly difficult. You’ll take a small boat to the sea, then a cargo ship to Hong Kong, and from there, a plane to Chongqing. I’ve arranged everything along the way.”

Liu Fazu nodded repeatedly, offering many thanks. Then, suddenly silent, he solemnly said, “Boss Bi, I owe you a great debt—not just for reuniting me with Xiang Ning, but also because these recent days have been a torment and struggle for me. I believed that the heart of a healer is like that of a parent, that saving lives should have no distinctions. Even enemy soldiers ought to be treated humanely. But as I pull them back from the brink of death, they harm my friends and family. Even Yang Yang, who shares my healer’s heart, isn’t spared. We go to save them, yet we must watch helplessly as our own children die untreated. What is the true path of medicine? What is humanity? I understand less and less. At this moment, Boss Bi, to help me escape this deadlock is a kindness beyond measure to Fazu.”

Bi Qingtang frowned, listening to Liu Fazu’s words, then shook his head with a sigh. “You and your little sister, you people read too much. You always want to find reasons, to pinpoint exact causes. But really, when a person wants to do something, they should just do it without so many hesitations. After I send you off, I’m going to help Lin Zhiju and her husband too.” “Where are you sending them?” “To the northwest. My friends there say they’re short of doctors. Lin Zhiju and Wu En don’t want to stay in Shanghai any longer and want to go there. I’m just doing a favor on the way.”

“Boss Bi, may I ask—why did you suddenly... why did you suddenly...” Liu Fazu trailed off. “You want to ask why I suddenly started doing good deeds, don’t you?” Bi Qingtang anticipated his question, then sighed with a smile. “Why else? It’s because of her. For safety’s sake, I wanted her to close the hospital and open a small pediatric clinic in the concession. These days, big hospitals attract trouble. But even if she wanted to, she’d worry about you all, so while she’s ill, I arranged everything for you. Ultimately, as long as she’s safe and well, what I do is nothing.”

Before leaving, Liu Fazu suddenly felt moved and said to Bi Qingtang, “I used to only know Xu Zhizhong and thought he was deeply devoted. If Yang Yang didn’t marry him, she’d be blind. After the occupation, I got to know you and Yang Yang better and realized that your love is so deep, if Yang Yang had truly gone with Xu Zhizhong, that would have been the blindness!” Bi Qingtang, though comforted, murmured bitterly, “At this point, if she had gone with him, that might have been better. Better than this endless disappointment, the heartbreak, and my body ending up like this. Deep down, I just wanted more for myself, so I couldn’t let go.” Liu Fazu looked at him in disbelief, his eyes gradually filling with pity and compassion. Bi Qingtang hated to be seen like that and changed the subject with a smile. “You’ll see Xu Zhizhong when you get to Chongqing. That kid’s won a few battles and got promoted again!”

A small boat carried the longing Liu Fazu away, while Bi Qingtang stood on the shore, feeling a pang in his heart at their reunion.

At the end of 1938, during the largest battle of the Sino-Japanese War—the Battle of Wuhan—the Japanese army suffered over a hundred thousand dead and sick. Our forces lost four hundred thousand. The Chinese people endured immense sacrifice and reached a stalemate phase of the war. The arrogance of the Japanese faded, replaced by growing anxiety—this was also reflected in the occupied areas. In Shanghai, the puppet government intensified control and bribery over influential tycoons like Bi Qingtang.

On New Year’s Eve afternoon, sparse snowflakes drifted down outside. The sporadic sound of firecrackers echoed on the streets, carrying a faint, wartime pretense of festivity. Bi Qingtang carried a paper bag and handed it to Wu Ma, who was preparing vegetables in the apartment kitchen, whispering, “Inside is golden pomfret, premium fish maw, and cordyceps—make soup with it. Before she sleeps tonight, make sure she drinks it all.” Wu Ma carefully took the package and handed it to her daughter-in-law, frowning as she sighed, “Oh dear, if eating dragon meat can make the young lady well again, the son-in-law should get some too!” Bi Qingtang quickly raised his hand, “Keep your voice down. Don’t disturb her rest.” “She’s not sleeping, she’s inside. Son-in-law, you should check on her.”

Pushing open the bedroom door, Tan Yang sat covered with a blanket in a recliner by the window, a book resting on her lap. Her back injury had only recently healed; only in the past few days had she dared to lie flat or sit against the chair back. Having caught a cold after a miscarriage and a long, lingering illness, she was pale and thin.

Seeing Bi Qingtang enter, Tan Yang closed her book and placed it on the table. “You’re here?” “You put your book away only after you knew I was coming?” She smiled down. “You make me sleep every day, but I’m not so sleepy.” Bi Qingtang looked closely at her face and gently asked, “Feeling better?” “Yes, almost fully recovered.” “But you don’t look well.” “No, it’s because I don’t leave the house,” she whispered defensively.

Bi Qingtang sat beside her and stared at the book on the table. Suddenly he asked, “Little sister, what’s the pronunciation of the character under the ‘sun’ radical, with a ‘Xiangyang’ component?” “It’s pronounced with a falling tone, meaning the past or former times,” Tan Yang answered, then asked curiously, “Where did you see that?” Bi Qingtang picked up the book and carefully recited, “Lingering fondly upon the moonlit Gui Peak of bygone days.” “You’re reading this?” She looked back at him, surprised. Bi Qingtang grimaced, “It’s difficult stuff; I have to look it up in the dictionary.”

Tan Yang was silent for a long moment before softly laughing, “No, you can just ask Nan Nan. She’s quite good at classical Chinese now.” Bi Qingtang feigned annoyance, “Little sister, you’re teasing me, aren’t you?” They both laughed. After calming down, Tan Yang asked, “Where’s Nan Nan? What’s she doing?” “At home, drawing. She said she wants to finish and show you tonight.” “She’s coming tonight?” “Yes, she said she’ll come have dinner with you.” Hearing this, Tan Yang smiled, her eyes brightened with warmth and anticipation, her face unusually rosy. Bi Qingtang noticed this and felt a weight in his heart.

Tan Yang then looked outside. Bi Qingtang followed her gaze to the street corner, where a boy and a girl, one older and one younger, crouched together covering their ears as they set off firecrackers. Tan Yang’s lips curved involuntarily. Bi Qingtang’s nose tingled; he pressed his knees and tried to sound casual, “After the New Year, let Nan Nan live with you.” Tan Yang sat up, astonished, “Live with me? Why?” Bi Qingtang quickly stood and turned to leave, mumbling as he went, “When girls get older, it’s easier to be with their mother.”

That spring, an old friend came from afar. The last time he visited Shanghai, Yan Qin was still an infant.

Old Zhou disembarked that morning, traveling incognito. Upon arrival, he took the name of a distant relative from Shandong and went straight to Bi Qingtang’s mansion. At dusk, Tan Yang came with Yan Qin, who had just finished school. Having her daughter nearby, Tan Yang’s health recovered quickly. Yan Qin had grown taller over the winter and now stood a bit above Tan Yang’s shoulder. Old Zhou looked at the sweet, lovely ten-year-old girl and said to Bi Qingtang with emotion, “People can’t avoid aging. In a few years, Yan Qin will be a young lady.” Then bending slightly with a tender smile, he asked Yan Qin, “Do you remember me?” Yan Qin glanced at her mother, then smiled squinting, “I don’t remember, but I know you. Dad always talks about you. Mom told me on the way here that you’re my godfather, and you gave me my name!”

Old Zhou nodded and turned to Tan Yang. “Little sister, you’ve lost weight.” “I was sick a while ago, but just recently,” Tan Yang answered warmly. Old Zhou half-jokingly punched Bi Qingtang’s arm, “Good job, not taking care of my sister.” Bi Qingtang stiffened, turning away in pain. Tan Yang quickly scolded, “Brother Zhou, it’s not anyone else’s fault I lost weight. Even Nan Nan can take care of herself. Surely I’m not worse than a child?” Old Zhou pointed at Tan Yang and chided Bi Qingtang, “See how she is with you. At first, the newlyweds, it was fine, but now the child’s grown. Aren’t you tired of each other yet?” Bi Qingtang smiled wryly, pretending to threaten, “You old bachelor know nothing. The food’s here, come, just the two of us have a drink.”

That meal, with fine wine and delicacies, old friends reunited. Bi Qingtang and Tan Yang warmly and sincerely entertained their long-absent friend, just like the Spring Festival ten years ago—the warmth of home. Old Zhou sighed with emotion. Yan Qin got along well with Old Zhou, sitting nearby listening to his stories of fighting the Japanese. Finally, she asked innocently, “But godfather, with so many guns and cannons, so much death and bloodshed, weren’t you scared? People say war is terrible.” Old Zhou smiled, stroked her head, and said solemnly after a long pause, “Yan Qin, godfather never went to school, read only a few books, but I know this: the greatest evil in human history is war. But if others start a war, we cannot just submit to avoid evil. War is indeed terrible, but worse is national ruin and extinction. Child, we face guns and blood to protect you. We want our descendants to speak Chinese proudly and write Chinese characters. Ask your parents—they can endure hardship and humiliation, but they cannot bear their children, their precious ones, living in their own country as second-class citizens, always in danger.”

Hearing this, Tan Yang instinctively placed her hand on her abdomen, her expression lonely. If not for the Japanese soldiers and that accident, her child would now be moving joyfully inside her. Bi Qingtang noticed her expression and felt a heavy weight in his heart, staring blankly at Old Zhou across the room.

Old Zhou raised his head and drank his cup dry, then said meaningfully, “Yan Qin, no matter the time, if a person’s heart is just and open, if they fight to defend family and home, they will not fear death. Even at the brink of life and death, our values are reshaped. Through the fire of war, a person is reborn.” Old Zhou’s words lit up Bi Qingtang’s previously vacant eyes.

After dinner, they talked together. Old Zhou took out some papers and showed them to Bi Qingtang, who skimmed them and said, “Everything’s fine except the gas masks—they’re a bit tricky, but we’ll find a way.” Old Zhou lowered his voice excitedly, “On behalf of the organization, thank you, Boss Bi. If this works, it solves a big problem! Also, I came alone this time and didn’t dare carry much money. Tomorrow, I’ll get the funds for supplies from the Shanghai contact point and bring it to you!” Bi Qingtang waved his hand, declining briefly, “No need! I, Bi, support your cause and donate to the resistance. Don’t mention money!” Old Zhou hesitated, “You’ve donated a lot in the past six months! The army’s winter uniforms all come from your textile factory!” Hearing this, Tan Yang—who was teaching Yan Qin to draw at the tea table—looked up in surprise at them. Bi Qingtang stubbornly and passionately retorted, “When will we beat the Japanese? If I could kill all those devils now, even if I were penniless, I’d be willing!” Old Zhou was stunned, mumbling to himself, “Never expected this.”

Tan Yang looked up at Bi Qingtang, her face full of admiration and faith seldom seen in him over the years. He smiled slightly, and she smiled back, then lowered her head, still smiling.

Later, Tan Yang left her daughter at the Bi mansion and went home. Old Zhou asked puzzled, “So late, where are you going? Is something wrong at the hospital?” Bi Qingtang shook his head, then warned Tan Yang to dress warmly and not catch cold, since her health was just recovering.

Standing by the floor-to-ceiling window watching Tan Yang’s car leave the garden, Old Zhou asked gravely, “What’s going on? I sensed something was wrong during dinner.” Bi Qingtang pressed his hand to the glass and answered with difficulty, “We don’t live together now. She divorced me years ago.” Old Zhou glared fiercely and rebuked him, “Born into happiness but blind to it. How many in China have a happy home like yours—no worries, deep love, a lovely daughter? I’ve seen too many tragedies and hardships in my life, but thinking of your little family gives me hope that if every family in the new China could be like yours, all our sacrifices would be worthwhile! Yet you don’t appreciate it. I think you’re a capitalist at heart, indulging in pleasures and desires. Don’t you know what kind of woman your wife is? Such a principled and strong woman can’t tolerate you keeping mistresses. I bet before you even brought a concubine home, she left you!” Bi Qingtang pressed his head against the window, weakly saying, “Old Zhou, it’s not as you think—I’m not that foolish.” “Then what happened?” Old Zhou narrowed his eyes, and in a low voice, Bi Qingtang confessed, “I cheated her out of a large sum and killed her family’s elders to cover it up. I hid everything from her until a few years ago when she found out.” Old Zhou took a long moment to recover, then sighed softly, “Bi Qingtang, you’re the richest man I know, yet you’d sacrifice your happiness for money. Look at this mansion—luxurious but so empty and cold. It’s your own doing. But I pity your little sister and child.”

Late at night, Old Zhou woke and couldn’t sleep. Opening the door, he wandered the hallway, noticing a light still on upstairs. The rooms above were the Bi family’s bedrooms. He thought for a moment, then went upstairs toward the light.

Bi Qingtang sat in a room with the door open, where a brand-new white crib and rocking horse stood. The crib was draped in pale blue gauzy curtains and linens, innocent yet fresh and peaceful.

“So late, still not sleeping?” “These past years, I’ve never slept well. When I smoked opium, I was half-asleep till dawn. Now I’ve quit, and I can’t sleep.” Old Zhou was surprised, “If you abuse yourself, your little sister must feel worse. Don’t you think of her?” Bi Qingtang looked down in silence. Old Zhou looked around the room, puzzled. “Isn’t this Yan Qin’s childhood room?” “Last winter, when my little sister was pregnant, I found out and immediately prepared the child’s room. But the baby didn’t survive.” Bi Qingtang paused, then said, “That’s when I started sending you money and supplies.”

He looked up, his face grave. “Before, I thought as long as I, Bi Qingtang, lived comfortably and stably, the country’s fate didn’t matter. I even hoped the war would pass without reaching us, because if the Japanese hadn’t attacked Shanghai, my little sister might have been someone else’s wife by now. But over time, I realized the truth. Shanghai fell; the Japanese ran wild on our land. So many couldn’t stand it, so many died refusing to submit. I lost my sister, my uncle, friends, and finally my son and the last hope for the future. I realized no true winners exist in chaos and war. Everyone suffers tragedy. I feared if the war continued, I wouldn’t even protect my sister and Nan Nan. So I’m willing to give everything to defeat the Japanese quickly and end this war.”

With the battlefield and international situation unfavorable, the Japanese tightened control over the occupied zones, resorting to various tactics. In Shanghai, under Japanese pressure, the wealthy and powerful Bi Qingtang found it hard to remain detached and safe.

Tan Yang’s pediatric clinic was in a small building in the concession. The clinic was downstairs; she and her daughter lived upstairs. Her pediatrics practice was already well known in Shanghai, so even as a new clinic, patients came steadily.

One late spring morning, Bi Qingtang appeared at the clinic door. Tan Yang asked if he needed anything. “Nothing important, you keep busy.” She examined patients while he stood at the door watching. After the last patient, Tan Yang led him upstairs to the living room. Looking out the window, she asked nervously, “Nothing wrong? I noticed the last two times you came, there was a car following you with unfamiliar license plates.”

Actually, the Japanese had given him only two days to accept the role of Security Bureau chief. The puppet government had recently begun openly watching him. He dared not tell Tan Yang, not wanting to worry her. So he gave a casual answer, “Times are unsettled; better to have a few guards just in case.” Tan Yang nodded but still asked, “But you waited here all morning. Really nothing?” Bi Qingtang smiled, “Been coughing a bit lately, feeling off. Have you check me out.”

His tone was playful and childish, whining a little. Tan Yang smiled and took her stethoscope from her coat pocket. “Alright, take off your shirt, I’ll listen.” Bi Qingtang promptly removed his jacket. As Tan Yang placed the stethoscope on his chest, he suddenly pulled her into a tight embrace.

“What are you doing? I haven’t started listening!” “No need! I’m fine! After all these years with you, whenever I take off my clothes, we end up hugging. It’s a habit I can’t break.” His unreasonable answer made Tan Yang sigh. “Loosen your grip. My white coat will get dirty with all these germs.” He chuckled, “Then take it off, I’ll help you.” He began unbuttoning her coat, and she pushed his hand away, displeased. “What would people think in broad daylight? Let go.” Bi Qingtang pressed his forehead to hers, whispering, “Just this once, please, little sister. I beg you.” His words made her heart ache and melt; she couldn’t refuse.

Remembering Tan Yang’s miscarriage months ago, Bi Qingtang was especially gentle and careful during their intimacy. When his movements grew a bit rough, he quickly asked if she was uncomfortable or hurting. He controlled himself, moving slowly, not going too deep, barely half in. This restraint left him sweating and exhausted. Tan Yang patted his arm, “I’m fine, don’t worry.” He paused, panting, “I shouldn’t have done this so soon, but I feared I’d regret it if I didn’t. I kissed her hand and comforted her, “It’s alright, little sister. As long as you call me ‘big brother’ at the end, I’ll be happy.”

With deep affection and skill, Bi Qingtang brought Tan Yang to climax. Her cries of “big brother” echoed as he reached release with her. Slowly withdrawing, he held her and gently stroked the long scar on her back. Then with burning hatred, he whispered, “I really can’t swallow this bitterness.”

Afterwards, nestled together, they rested. In the afternoon, Bi Qingtang snored soundly on the bed. Tan Yang got up to see patients and noticed an ivory cigarette holder slip from his clothes. It was so worn that its original ivory color was hidden beneath yellowing, with fine cracks around the gold rim. Even so, he stubbornly continued using it—it was the first gift she ever gave him. Thinking of this, Tan Yang touched another worn fountain pen in her coat pocket, its lacquer peeling to reveal rusted iron, and smiled bitterly.

Bi Qingtang slept the entire afternoon on Tan Yang’s bed. When evening came and Yan Qin returned from school, he awoke and kissed her forehead firmly before going downstairs. There, Tan Yang was examining a child’s throat with a tongue depressor. The sunset bathed her smiling face in golden light, making her look as beautiful and gentle as a figure in a stained-glass church window.

Tan Yang looked up and saw Bi Qingtang at the door. He smiled and said two words before turning to leave. The children inside were noisy, so she couldn’t hear clearly, but from his lip movements, she guessed he said, “Wait for me.”

Before leaving, Bi Qingtang glanced back at the small building glowing in the sunset, tears in his eyes and a face full of reluctance.

The next day, a weekend, Tan Yang and her daughter shopped for cigarette holders at a department store in the concession. Meanwhile, on the other side of Shanghai, Bi Qingtang’s car exploded in a massive fireball on the way to the silk-reeling factory.

Returning home, Tan Yang found a letter slipped under the door, with bold, forceful handwriting—Bi Qingtang’s own.