Chapter Twelve: Prepared for Anything

Nian Xue and Liang Lingzhi watched as Ye Dong stood there, both laughing and crying at once, unable to move, and asked curiously, “Ye Dong, what’s wrong?”

Ye Dong waved his hand and grinned, “Senior sister, junior brother, come out quickly! There are two absolute classics here—it’s incredible!” Laughing, he pushed open the main door, and two strangely dressed men strode inside.

Liang Lingzhi raised an eyebrow and couldn’t help but burst out laughing, “Xiaobao, Dachun, what on earth are you two up to?!”

Xiaobao and Dachun were festooned from head to toe with garlic, ancient coins, jade amulets, fluorescent lights, peach wood swords, portraits of Zhong Kui, crucifixes, images of Jesus, dragon heads, horse bodies, kylins… an endless assortment of oddities. Even their ears were adorned with dog teeth—only their mouths lacked something to bite on.

Xiaobao waved his hand, trying to halt Liang Lingzhi’s laughter. “Don’t laugh! These are our magical weapons.”

Dachun nodded solemnly. “You could also call them secret weapons.”

Ye Dong took a peach wood sword from Xiaobao and asked, “You’ve hung all this stuff right out front—what kind of secret is that?”

The tall and short duo furrowed their brows. “Ah, you’re right. It’s not so much a secret weapon as a public display.”

Nian Xue was also amused by their antics. “Isn’t this a bit much? Even Jesus made an appearance? And who’s this?” She picked up a small figurine hanging from Dachun’s neck.

Dachun chuckled. “That’s the incarnation of Zeus. Pretty impressive, huh?”

Ye Dong was speechless. “How did you manage to invite him along too? And you’re speaking Mandarin—can this foreign god even understand?”

Dachun said with disdain, “Nian Xue already explained, sincerity is what matters. If you pray with your heart, it’ll work.”

Xiaobao chimed in, “In ‘The Grandmaster’ they said, ‘Whatever you keep in mind will echo back to you!’ Ye Dong, you really are slow-witted!”

Liang Lingzhi pointed at a package strapped to Xiaobao’s waistband. “Xiaobao, and what’s in that?”

Xiaobao grinned devilishly and puffed up with pride. “This one’s impressive! I’m afraid you’ll be shocked if I tell you!”

Dachun nodded with exaggerated seriousness. “If what we’re wearing are secret weapons, then this package is nothing short of a divine artifact.”

Liang Lingzhi, full of curiosity, grabbed the package and opened it—only to turn green with rage. He dumped the contents over Xiaobao’s head. “Underwear?! Where did you get all these panties?!”

With a headful of underwear, Xiaobao didn’t get angry. Instead, he grinned. “Exactly! These are the ultimate demon-banishing weapon—the red underwear of middle-aged aunties! It took us ages to gather them!”

Dachun pulled out a few pairs and handed one to Liang Lingzhi. “Saved a lacy one just for you. Here!”

Liang Lingzhi glared at them and scolded, “Can you be serious for one moment?!”

Nian Xue laughed. “Alright, enough. Now that everyone’s here, I’ll start teaching you the incantations and mantras.” The four, excited at the prospect of a lesson, instantly fell silent and gathered around Nian Xue, listening attentively.

“I’ll teach you the ‘Pure Heart Incantation’ first. This spell is for clearing distractions and calming the mind. It quiets the heart and returns your focus to the Way, bringing peace and protecting the soul from harm.”

The four nodded repeatedly; they were quick-witted and soon memorized the incantation. After Nian Xue taught them some minor tricks for warding off evil, she explained the basics of magical formations.

“Since all four of you are virgins, I’ll show you how to use the ‘Pure Youth Exorcism Formation.’ This formation is simple and practical. Each of you stands at one of the four cardinal points—Azure Dragon, White Tiger, Black Tortoise, Vermilion Bird—each fulfilling your role. Recite the mantra and incantation together, and you’ll form a powerful protective shield for the spellcaster at the center.”

Ye Dong asked, “So this is a type of guardian formation?”

Nian Xue replied, “Exactly. It’s one kind of guardian formation. Ordinary people can use it, but it works best with men of pure body.”

“I have a question!” Xiaobao raised his hand.

“Go ahead.”

“Why does it work better with virgins?”

Nian Xue explained earnestly, “A virgin’s body is of pure yang. If one has had intercourse, some of that yang energy is lost. All other things being equal, the pure yang in a non-virgin isn’t as abundant. However, a non-virgin can cultivate and acquire even stronger yang energy than a virgin through practice.”

The four nodded thoughtfully. Ye Dong asked, “So how did our founder view this?”

Nian Xue said, “It’s best to remain pure during your early cultivation, as it helps lay your foundation. Once your spiritual attainment grows, you carry the Way within you, and can then partake in yin and yang as appropriate.”

Hearing this, the four young men felt relieved.

Nian Xue glanced at them. “Now’s not the time for idle thoughts. Memorize these incantations and mantras carefully—we’re heading into the mountains tomorrow night.”

The four nodded vigorously and began practicing the techniques as Nian Xue had taught.

The next evening, Ye Dong and the others arrived at the meeting point arranged by Officer Li.

“Is everything ready?” Officer Li asked.

Ye Dong nodded. “All set.”

Officer Li looked at Xiaobao and Dachun, who were fully decked out in their “gear,” and couldn’t help but laugh. “With all that, you two look ready to save the world!”

Nian Xue shook her head with a smile. “Let them be. If it brings peace of mind, so much the better.”

Once Officer Li had double-checked his subordinates’ equipment, he gave a wave and set off toward Shekou Mountain.

He looked at the group and asked, “Nervous?”

“Very nervous,” the four replied in unison—only Nian Xue smiled quietly.

Officer Li burst out laughing. “The first time I went on an operation, I was so nervous my legs were shaking.”

“But after the first time, I was never afraid again,” he said. “I’ve lost track of how many times Little Wang and Little Yang have followed me through life and death. All these years, we’ve been dancing on the knife’s edge—not to be heroes, but to rid the people of evil.”

Little Wang and Little Yang exchanged a smile and bumped fists.

Hearing Officer Li’s heartfelt words, Ye Dong and the others felt a deep respect for these officers who risked their lives for the people.

Officer Li continued, “Tonight, we’ll bring those beasts to justice and avenge over twenty innocent lives. We believe that justice will prevail!”

“Yes! Justice will prevail!”

“Justice will prevail!” Inspired by Officer Li’s oath, Ye Dong’s heart surged with passion. The four encouraged each other, and their fear was quickly replaced by determination.

Under the stars, the vehicles sped on, and soon they arrived at Shekou Mountain…