Chapter 20: Fragmented Memories

"Are you alright?" Seeing that Chao Xu was in pain, Ci Mo immediately grabbed her hand, stubbornly examining the tiny bead of crimson at her fingertip.

"Don't worry, it doesn't hurt," Chao Xu withdrew her hand, giving it a couple of shakes to show that such a small injury was nothing to her.

"No, you are hurt." Ci Mo took her hand back, fixing his gaze on it for a long while, his tone brooking no argument.

Chao Xu thought to herself: Does this child not know how to listen properly?

While Chao Xu was still puzzled, Ci Mo somehow produced a first aid kit from somewhere, skillfully wrapping her finger into a little ball, finishing it off with a bow, and then looked at her with an expectant face, as if waiting for praise.

Would the emotionally detached Chao Xu give him the compliment he wanted? He was hoping for too much.

One second.

Two seconds.

Three seconds.

"Hmm, not bad. Next time, you don’t need to wrap it up so tightly," Chao Xu said perfunctorily, unable to resist Ci Mo’s pleading, dewy gaze, and patted him gently on the head.

"Okay!" Ci Mo replied instantly, his eyes curving into delighted crescents, brimming with joy.

Yet Chao Xu still felt he hadn’t truly listened to her words.

Never mind, she thought, and let it go.

Turning away, Chao Xu resumed leafing through the diary with heavy fingers.

Perhaps it was because of changes in Chao Si’s intellect—she began behaving like a child, interest flaring and fading in moments.

The diary, which had been written in consistently for five whole years, had pages covered in doodles and then lay untouched for a long while.

Only occasionally would she scribble a few lines, usually nothing more than mundane details—how many pieces of candy she’d received that day, being praised by her parents or brother, and other such trivialities.

Chao Xu could understand this sudden change. At the very beginning, Chao Si had written in the diary that it was meant to record important matters, a place for her own secrets.

Though she remembered this purpose later on, her cognitive troubles meant she often forgot about the notebook entirely.

Another strange thing was that in the past two years, the diary’s entries had suddenly become much more frequent.

Yet this increase weighed heavily on Chao Xu’s heart.

Chao Si lived in a happy family. Her mother was gentle, her father doted on his daughter, and her brother was fiercely protective.

In the early years, Chao Si was the apple of the family’s eye; even after her condition changed, she remained their cherished little princess.

But in the last two years, the diary had become filled with a flood of negative emotions.

I want to die. It hurts. Being hit really hurts. I’m so scared. The doll Mom gave me is gone. I even stole money from my brother. I’m a bad child. Please, don’t hit me anymore…

Such words appeared again and again. Perhaps due to her cognitive impairment, Chao Si could only describe her feelings in a fragmented way.

The words she used most often were: pain, fear, want to die.

Most frequently of all, she wrote, “I don’t want to go to school anymore.”

It was obvious that the root of Chao Si’s emotional turmoil lay at school.

Biting her lower lip, Chao Xu frowned deeply, her knuckles tapping the table in restless rhythm.

She wanted to recall Chao Si’s experiences at school from her memories, but after searching through them, she suddenly realized that aside from some basic keywords, there was nothing there.

...

After a moment of silence, she pulled the little ball of fur snoring on her shoulder and tossed it onto the table.