Invasion [Sentinel/Guide] — Chapter 30

When he first heard that Lin Yuan had applied for a transfer to the border, a flicker of secret joy had surged within him. No matter how cold and arrogant she had seemed in the past, her Guide’s heart surely still cared for him. He convinced himself that after their breakup, she had become heartbroken and jealous; to avoid him, she had even gone so far as to head to such a dangerous place, committing such a foolish act.

Jiang Yangshuo had quietly chuckled to himself in the night several times. That furtive joy was pathetic and pitiable, something he could never share with others. There was also a trace of guilt, for he knew that a Guide whose engagement had been annulled might face harsh judgment and struggle in their circle. He intended to talk to Lin Yuan properly tonight, to settle things between them calmly. He even considered telling her that he and that other woman were nothing serious. If Lin Yuan was feeling so aggrieved and living so hard, it wasn’t impossible for them to reconcile. Although the engagement was broken, it could be restored, provided that he, Jiang Yangshuo, willed it. After all, Lin Yuan was alone and helpless; she had no one but him.

But now he realized that Lin Yuan simply had no heart. Self-pity, jealousy, sorrow—none of these would ever appear in her. Just like that day when she saw him holding another Guide’s hand: Lin Yuan, as his partner, had not shown a shred of hesitation or reluctance. She had only looked at him coldly for a moment, as if repulsed, then took off both their engagement rings on the spot and tossed them into the gutter. It was decisive and calm, without a moment’s hesitation, not even a single word of reproach or cursing. It was as if she were impatient, relieved even, to be rid of something she despised.

Had she truly let him go? In such a short time? She was so distracted that she couldn't even focus on speaking to him. Jiang Yangshuo suddenly felt a tightening in his chest. A stinging, needle-like bitterness took hold; he vaguely sensed that something irreversible had already happened. He would have preferred it if she had cursed him or struck him. That would have been better than this cold, peaceful, and distracted indifference, as if she had already relegated him to the status of a stranger.

He gripped Lin Yuan’s wrist, gritting his teeth as he spoke every word, "Lin Yuan, do you have no heart at all?"

Her wrist was so slender, fair and delicate. Held in his Sentinel grip, it felt as though a little more force would snap it, yet he knew he could never truly hold onto her. On such a dark, alcohol-steeped night, it would have been effortless for a Sentinel to force his will upon a Guide standing so close. Lin Yuan stood in the shadows looking up at him, dressed in black, her eyes cold and sharp. Behind her was a pond of blooming water lilies, the air heavy with their scent. She was a different person from the girl he first met—the one in the white dress, amidst a sea of flowers, under the sunlight. Jiang Yangshuo felt that perhaps this was the real Lin Yuan: eerie, mysterious, captivating, and terrifying.

Something unknown and uncanny began to stir beneath her mist-like hem. In the dim, hazy night, amidst the shadows, things were crawling and gathering. They pulsed with displeasure, their cold, vacant gazes fixed upon Jiang Yangshuo. These were Lin Yuan’s unique mental manifestations.

Jiang Yangshuo’s heart trembled; his hand gripping Lin Yuan’s wrist began to sweat involuntarily. He had never told anyone, but he had always been a little afraid of Lin Yuan. It was a secret he had never dared to acknowledge. As a Sentinel, fearing one’s own bonded partner was a source of profound shame. He dared not tell others, nor could he tell Lin Yuan. Every time she performed mental cleansing for him, he was so terrified his legs would turn to jelly.

Lin Yuan possessed a vast, terrifying mental manifestation. They had known each other for years, yet he had never seen its full form. Each time, those enormous, monstrous entities appeared like horrific creatures outside the door, impatiently prying it open, extending a tentacle to sweep away the filth in his mind like someone clearing debris—brutal, powerful, and efficient. The mental cleansing would end in an instant, and the Guide’s mental manifestation would coldly depart, leaving the Sentinel shivering in fear. They had only ever had the most superficial, therapeutic mental grooming; they had never engaged in any deeper connection.

The problem was not with him. Whenever it was Lin Yuan’s turn to be on duty in the cleansing room, the number of Sentinels seeking help would dwindle significantly. Those who had no choice but to be treated by her would emerge leaning against the walls, looking dazed. When asked, they would only shake their heads blankly: "She’s too strong. I didn't even see her mental manifestation before it was over." "In short, it’s hard to describe, but unforgettable." "Her mental cleansing is as efficient as the legends say. My mental landscape is crystal clear now, not a trace of shadow left. But it was just too overwhelming; I was scared to the point that my legs went weak." "Next time, I’ll find another Guide, even if I have to go more often. That was just too terrifying."

It wasn't his problem, Jiang Yangshuo thought. No Sentinel would like such a powerful partner. He had only made a small mistake, seduced by a soft, gentle girl. That woman had looked at him with adoring eyes, her heart and mind filled only with him. Her mental manifestation was a white rabbit, docile and weak, nestling by his side—it had made him lose his composure for a moment.

"It was just a mistake, Xiao Yuan."

Lin Yuan pulled her arm back from his loosened grip. The moment their skin touched, she had read every one of Jiang Yangshuo’s thoughts and emotions. Suddenly, she felt a sense of dullness, yet at the same time, she felt a true, profound sense of relief.

"You seem to have remembered it wrong," Lin Yuan said, rubbing the wrist he had reddened. "I am not the one who did wrong. I am not the one who deserves blame."

"Although many say I am at fault, that I didn't do enough, they blame me and pity me. But I think they are the ones who are wrong. I have done nothing wrong."

She gathered her smoke-like black skirt and turned to leave, leaving a faint sentence to dissipate into the chilling night air. Jiang Yangshuo opened his mouth to call out to her again, but his throat felt obstructed, and no sound came out. Those shadowy, shifting things followed in Lin Yuan's wake, each one casting a look of disdain and rejection back at him. Jiang Yangshuo had a feeling that in this moment, he had lost something massive, a precious treasure. Something that should have been cherished. And now, it was likely gone forever.

...

Tan Shu was awakened by the sound of messy footsteps; he pulled himself back from a chaotic dream. He saw Ni Ji, just as he had been before he fell asleep, fully dressed with his black gloves removed, washing his hands at the sink.

"Strange, how did I fall asleep?" he shook his head, confused. "How long did I sleep? It sounds very noisy outside."

"For a while now." Ni Ji dried his hands, put on his gloves, and offered a faint smile. "Something seems to have happened outside. I was just about to wake you."

Tan Shu knew that since he began taking those spices from his teacher, his physical state had been far worse than before. It was common for him to sleep in the middle of the day when he was relaxed. But he felt that Ni Ji seemed different at this moment. He seemed more relaxed. Yes, relaxed. Ever since Ni Ji had returned here, he had been like a bow pulled to its breaking point, always giving off a gloomy, suffocating aura.