Spreading Heretical Nonsense

An ogre who loves to eat and knows how to cook is bound to be happy in this lifetime.

Gao Dazhuang loved to eat and loved to play the chef. If he were not an ugly pig ogre, he would have gone out into the mortal world to sell his delicacies to greedy people, turning the entire martial arts world into a paradise for gluttons.

Looking at the boiling broth in the pot, along with the fragrant spareribs and fish, he began to feel immensely proud of his culinary skills. "Damn it, my stewed meat and fish just taste damn good." Having praised himself, he began to press pieces of dough neatly in a circle along the inner walls of the iron pot, then covered it tightly, leaving the rest to steam.

Waving his cattail-leaf fan, he stepped outside. The weather was growing increasingly hot day by day, and even a little physical activity left him panting. Fortunately, a rocking chair awaited him in the cool shade, inviting him to lie back and rest in comfort.

At times like this, he would watch the clouds drift across the sky and let his mind wander back to the past. To ensure he could enjoy this enduring bliss for a long time, he had preserved his brain inside a Gu worm to achieve longevity. Yet, this left behind an aftereffect: a frequent sensation of hunger and a constant craving for food. Whenever hunger struck, he would curse, "Damn it, my stomach's empty again."

Gao Dazhuang ladled himself a bowl of hot soup and crumbled a cold steamed bun into it. As he happily ate his warm meal, he noticed a crow flying over.

Behind the crow trailed a flock of birds of various colors, leaving a scattering of feathers and droppings wherever they passed. Landing on the ground, the crow called out, "What delicious thing have you made this time? It smells so good!"

At that moment, Gao Dazhuang lifted the lid of a large earthenware jar, scooped up a handful of rice, and scattered it far into the sky. The flock's chaotic clamor was instantly appeased and dismissed.

Opening the cooking pot, the crow discovered it was stewed meat. He eagerly ladled out a bowl for himself and placed it on the table to cool.

Seeing the crow's undignified eagerness, Gao Dazhuang scolded, "The meat isn't even fully cooked yet! What are you rushing for?"

With a cheeky grin, the crow replied, "Brother, I happen to like my meat half-cooked and rare."

Gao Dazhuang then asked, "How come Xiao Bugui isn't here yet?"

The crow answered, "That old man with the surname Ma just arrived at the inn, and Xiao Bugui is busy cleaning his room. He'll probably wander over here for a free meal in a bit."

Gao Dazhuang asked, "What is that old man Ma doing here?"

The crow shrugged, "You're asking me? How would I know?"

Hu Jiao, Zhu Xiu, and Hao Meili arrived chatting and laughing merrily. From a distance, Hu Jiao called out in a sweet, coquettish voice, "Big Brother, what delicious treats have you made for us?"

Gao Dazhuang replied with an endearing smile meant for the lovely maidens, "I've stewed some lean meat especially for my little sisters. It's savory and delicious, and it won't make you gain weight."

Zhu Xiu chimed in sweetly, "Big Brother Dazhuang is always the most considerate."

Hao Meili said nothing, simply taking a seat with quiet grace. She did not particularly care for meat, but leaving uninvited would be impolite, so she sat down to eat just enough to fill her stomach.

Pan Yingjun and Wu Ke'ai had been snoring soundly inside the house. Awakened by the crisp, cheerful laughter of the maidens outside, they opened their eyes. Catching the enticing aromas of fish and beauty, they stepped off the brick bed, tidied their appearances, and walked out into the courtyard. They sat down directly across from the maidens, but despite their handsome and charming exteriors, they failed to capture the ladies' attention; indeed, the maidens went out of their way to avoid them.

Coincidentally, the four Zhu brothers also arrived. Having successfully cornered and captured Fabien Kong earlier, they were in high spirits and beaming with joy.

Upon seeing them, Wu Ke'ai warmly greeted, "Come sit with us, four brothers."

Pan Yingjun added, "The four spider brothers made a tremendous contribution today. When the Sect Leader returns, we shall report this merit and ensure you are duly rewarded."

Since the inn's lobby was cluttered with miscellaneous items and several rooms upstairs had yet to be tidied up, Ma Zengsan's arrival meant only a single room could be hastily cleared for him, which required time to clean. Consequently, Xiao Bugui told Ma Zengsan, "Come, let's go over to Gao Dazhuang's place to eat first."

Ma Zengsan remarked, "Are you talking about going to eat at the place of that Pig Fiend? Aren't you afraid he'll slip a Gu poison into our food?"

Xiao Bugui retorted, "The Pig Fiend has never once harmed me. Are you brave enough to come or not? If not, you can stay here and starve!"

Thus, urged on by necessity, Ma Zengsan went along for lunch. Upon seeing the various monsters and demons gathered there, he wore a polite smile and greeted them courteously, "Hello, everyone."

To introduce the newcomer to the gathering, Xiao Bugui offered an explanation: "Senior Ma has come to take Young Master Yu and Miss Hao back home, so I brought him along to share a meal."

Hospitality personified, Gao Dazhuang scooped up a massive bowl of meat and said, "If it isn't Elder Brother Ma! Come and taste my cooking."

Gao Dazhuang also set aside another bowl of meat for Shang Qiufeng. This time, Shang Qiufeng did not float over; instead, he walked with a swagger, his heavy footsteps leaving deep indentations in the ground. As he approached, he huffed and puffed, complaining, "Having legs and feet is simply nowhere near as convenient as having wings. Maybe I'll get used to it after a while."

Watching Shang Qiufeng's comical gait, Pan Yingjun could not help bursting into laughter. "Shang Qiufeng, why do you walk swaying from side to side like a duck?"

Shang Qiufeng retorted, "Then pray tell, what does a proper walk look like?"

Pan Yingjun said, "Just today, I saw a cat demon. When she walks with that feline strut, even grown maidens would blush with shame."

Shang Qiufeng replied, "Then another day I shall go see him and learn a thing or two."

Everyone took their seats, preparing to feast heartily. Suddenly, Shi Yuhuan descended from the sky right beside Hu Jiao, startling everyone present. Because Sect Leader Shi had sustained injuries, her body was riddled with faint cracks, and she wobbled unsteadily upon landing. Hu Jiao rushed to support her, asking with deep concern, "Sect Leader, what has happened to you?"

"I have discovered Xiao Bugui's true identity... He is..." Before she could finish her sentence, Shi Yuhuan lost consciousness, plunging the gathered demons into bewildered panic. They had no choice but to rush the Sect Leader to the medical pavilion, where Hua Lan treated her.

After examining the Sect Leader's condition, Hua Lan declared, "The Sect Leader suffered internal injuries from a fierce battle. Now, our only option is to open the Magic Box."

Xiao Bugui kindly reminded them, "I clearly witnessed the Sect Leader swallow the Magic Box into her stomach last time."

Hua Lan asked, "Then what are we to do?"

Shang Qiufeng said, "The Sect Leader will save herself."

Sure enough, a brilliant seven-colored halo began to flash across Shi Yuhuan's abdomen, indicating that the Magic Box was opening of its own accord within her body. Slowly, the halo expanded, enveloping Shi Yuhuan's entire form. Her black garments transformed into pristine white robes, and her dark hair turned snowy white. Shi Yuhuan had transformed into Ji Qingcheng. Though her facial features remained unchanged, her entire aura was transformed. Sitting up on the sickbed, Ji Qingcheng's very first words were, "Where is this?"

Hua Lan replied, "Sect Leader, this is my medical pavilion."

Ji Qingcheng then instructed the demons, "All of you return. Hua Lan is quite enough to tend to me here."

As for Xiao Bugui, his situation became rather awkward. Because the Sect Leader had dropped that ambiguous remark before fainting, lingering doubts about him took root among the others. The crow invited Xiao Bugui into his own room and locked him inside his cage. When Xiao Bugui tried to offer an explanation, the crow waved him off: "No need to explain. To explain is to cover up, and we certainly trust you. We're locking you in this cage for your own protection—just like I lock myself in a cage."

The crow's logic was airtight and irrefutable, leaving Xiao Bugui with no choice but to submit. Meanwhile, Ma Zengsan returned to the inn, retired to his guest room, and went to sleep with a completely untroubled mind.