Chapter 33: The Drowned Ghost Bride

“Boss, are you alright? You don’t look so good.”
In a secluded corner of the schoolyard, Yan Yu was curled up on the steps, his shoulder pressed against the wall, looking as pitiful as could be.
“Fatty, do I look alright to you?” Yan Yu pointed at his face, now covered in lipstick marks.
Hao Zhuang asked, puzzled, “Boss, if you don’t like these lipstick marks, why not just wipe them off?”
“You think I don’t want to? That Zhao Qingqing didn’t use lipstick—she used suction! She sucked them on!” Yan Yu roared.
Zhou Xiaowan laughed so hard her face nearly cramped but still tried to comfort him, “You were the one who claimed Zhao Qingqing was your wife, and now she’s the only Zhao Qingqing left in the whole school.”
Yan Yu sniffed, wiping away a crystalline tear at the corner of his eye. “But you all set me up! If I’d known this Zhao Qingqing was an XXXXXL, would I have dared to go looking for her?”
“Heaven is my witness, we didn’t utter a single lie!” Fatty protested, aggrieved.
Yan Yu seized Fatty by the collar and snarled, “A beauty to shame the fish and the birds, to eclipse the moon and put flowers to shame?”
“No exaggeration! With Zhao Qingqing’s looks, anything that flies or swims would be scared to death at the sight of her…”
“...And Yang Xuefei can’t compare to even a tenth of her?”
“Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration. We meant in terms of weight. Not a tenth, but maybe a quarter.”
“...She’s the goddess of your heart, beyond question?”
“That’s true! Zhao Qingqing is the Marshal of Heaven in my heart—no one can take her place!”
Yan Yu released Fatty, beating his chest in despair as he sat back on the steps. “Damn it, my legendary reputation is ruined. How can I ever show my face at Rongcheng No.1 High again?”
“Boss, don’t take it so hard. They say big girls are diamonds in the rough. With some nurturing, you might be in for a pleasant surprise!” Fatty tried to console him.
“I think you two are perfect for each other. Want me to transfer her to you?” Yan Yu shot Fatty a murderous glare.
Fatty shivered and dared not say another word.
Zhou Xiaowan asked, “Brother Yu, why are you so set on finding Zhao Qingqing, anyway?”
“You wouldn’t understand…” Yan Yu sighed. “Forget it, you guys go ahead. I need some time alone.”
Right now, Yan Yu’s heart felt as if it had been run over by Noah’s Ark. If the wife his godmother wanted him to find was truly this plus-sized Zhao Qingqing, he’d rather return to Mount Emei on the spot and shave his head for the monastery!

Zhou Xiaowan and the others exchanged glances, then returned helplessly to the classroom. Yan Yu sat alone on the steps of the schoolyard, thinking back on his recent ordeal, nearly moved to tears again.
Just then, a pair of slender legs appeared beside his shoulders. Without looking up, Yan Yu said, “Drowned Ghost, get off my shoulders, or I’ll send you on an all-expenses-paid ten-year trip to hell.”
“Heartless man, you weren’t saying that the other night when you had your hands all over me!”
“I’m in a terrible mood right now. Don’t push me.”
Yan Yu looked up, seething—and then froze in confusion.
The Drowned Ghost seemed to remember something and blushed a little, quickly jumping off Yan Yu.
“Um… I didn’t see anything.”
An awkward silence hung in the air.
Trying to change the subject, the Drowned Ghost quickly said, “I heard you just confessed to a T-Rex in the cafeteria. Is it true?”
“Don’t bring up those traumatic memories…”
The Drowned Ghost stuck out her tongue and squatted in front of Yan Yu. “You seem particularly obsessed with the name Zhao Qingqing. Does it mean something special to you? Or was your ex-girlfriend named Zhao Qingqing?”
“I never had an ex-girlfriend… You just wouldn’t get it!” Yan Yu had no desire to speak sincerely with the Drowned Ghost, who had gotten him punished that very morning.
“Oh, just tell me! Only you and Su Han can see and talk to me at this school. I’m bored to death!” she wheedled.
Yan Yu rolled his eyes and relented. “It’s my godmother. She sent me to Rongcheng No.1 High to find a girl named Zhao Qingqing, said she’s my wife. But there are only two Zhao Qingqings in the whole school—one’s already in hell, and the other’s a four-hundred-pound dinosaur… Now I have no idea what to do.”
At that, the Drowned Ghost seemed lost in thought, casting a meaningful glance at Yan Yu.
Just then, Su Han appeared on the schoolyard, walking toward them. When she reached them, she said, “Qingqing, you’re always hanging around Yan Yu. Aren’t you afraid he’ll get annoyed and send you off to the afterlife?”
“He wouldn’t dare,” the Drowned Ghost replied with a mischievous smile.
Yan Yu, still dejected, suddenly snapped to attention. He scratched his ear, staring in disbelief at Su Han and the Drowned Ghost.
“Miss Su, what did you just call her?”
Su Han looked puzzled. “Qingqing, of course.”

“She’s called Qingqing?” Yan Yu asked, pointing at the Drowned Ghost.
Su Han nodded. “Yes, she’s Zhao Qingqing—same name as the other one. What’s with the surprise? Didn’t she tell you before?”
Yan Yu swallowed hard, glancing at the Drowned Ghost, who looked back with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.
After searching high and low, he’d finally found her where the lanterns were dim!
“You’re Zhao Qingqing, so… you’re my wife?” Yan Yu said in disbelief.
Su Han shot him a glare. “Please, you’re getting ahead of yourself. Not even ghosts are safe from you?”
“No, that’s not—”
Yan Yu stood up, staring fixedly at the Drowned Ghost, enunciating each word: “I want to hear it from you. Are you really called Zhao Qingqing?”
“If you don’t believe me, go check the records at the police station. November 21, 2001—I died in the girls’ dormitory at Rongcheng No.1 High,” the Drowned Ghost said quietly.
With things spelled out so plainly, how could Yan Yu doubt her? Besides, if he didn’t believe the Drowned Ghost, should he believe the plus-sized Zhao Qingqing who looked more terrifying than any ghost?
The Drowned Ghost winked at Yan Yu, grinning. “So, I’m your wife now?”
Yan Yu swallowed and nodded.
“As if!” Su Han flicked his forehead. “She died when you were just born. By age, she could be your mother!”
The Drowned Ghost, Zhao Qingqing, laughed. “I was only eighteen when I died…”
Su Han’s jaw dropped. “Qingqing, you can’t be serious about dating this kid, can you?”
“Why not try? Let him come to our dorm tonight and we’ll…”
“You two are insane!” Su Han clapped her hands over her ears. “Get out of my sight, you shameless pair!”
Yan Yu was still in a daze, staring at the Drowned Ghost as if seeing her for the first time.
The Drowned Ghost, Zhao Qingqing, had died eighteen years ago—when Yan Yu’s mother had just given birth to him!
So, this Zhao Qingqing before him had to be the very one his godmother had sent him to find. She must also know the truth of his birth.